Self Compassion in the time of Coronavirus

For most of us the Coronavirus pandemic and lockdown restrictions have meant that the fear based (barren) world that I spoke of in my TedX talk back in 2016 is now a reality, something which I never expected. After doing the TedX I wrote my 90 Days FERTILE programme, providing you with the tools to help you think, feel and be fertile. The aim of this is to take away BARREN thinking, which comes from a place of lacking and self-blame, and instead promotes FERTILE thinking. Hundreds of people have now completed this program and I truly believe that being able to access this FERTILE abundance is now more vital than ever for our mental and physical health.

Over the past few months I have watched the world become a more anxious, fear driven place. My message and practice have always been rooted in a desire to give people the tools to cultivate a sense of safety and wellbeing in their lives, to feel at home in a world full of uncertainty and to build a safe home within ourselves.

I, like others, have found the many changes to my day to day life and work deeply challenging, but I have followed my heart and my desire to stay connected to you, and also to those I’ve never connected to before, through my Sunday Service sessions and FERTILE Enquiry consultations.

Now more than ever self-compassion is paramount, but how do we know when we are being compassionate enough towards ourselves? For me it is through noticing how compassionate I am towards others. If I catch myself judging, being critical or snapping at others, then I know that this is normally a reflection of my own internal state of mind. So, I pay attention to my own needs and give myself plenty of compassion.

If I find that I am reacting to the same things over and over and blaming forces outside of myself (sound familiar?) then I get curious about the origins of these irritations. We only react to ammunition that is already inside us.

So next time you feel you are judging, criticising or reacting badly to something, notice the FEELINGS in your body. Come out of the head and mind and the stories we create and come into the feelings. Then give your feelings plenty of compassion and healing time.

It is only through self-compassion that we can extend compassion to another. You cannot give from an empty cup. If you wish to see more compassion in the world then learn to give compassion to yourself first and foremost.

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life”.   Anna Quindlen